3 February 48 BCE
Wassup, peeps!
Been a bit depressed and annoyed recently so my tutor, Theodotus, suggested that I write my feelings down in a journal to see if that helps or something. WTF does he know, anyway?
Anyway, instead of a journal I’ve started this blog! Lol!
My name’s Ptolemy Theos Philopator; Divine King of Egypt; Lord of the Upper Regions and of the Lower Regions; Son of Ra, Horus and of Thoth blah blah blah... Basically, I’m king of Egypt. Oh, yeah, and I’m a God; the Earthly manifestation of Osiris! Plus, I’m only fourteen! Cool, huh?
You can call me Ptol!
Here’s my official portrait from the Temple of Kom Ombo...
Dull central! I look like I’ve got moobs! The Egyptians sure love their side profiles (yeh, I know I’m king of Egypt but I’m not Egyptian myself! We Ptolemies are Greek!)!
I’ll see if I can find a better pic of me from my FB or Twitter.
Anyway, I’ve been king for nearly three years now; ever since my dad died. He was called Ptolemy too (all the men in my family are). I got the throne cuz I was his eldest son, although I’m actually the forth oldest of his children (I had three older sisters FFS). My two oldest sisters, Cleo Tryphaena and Berenice are both dead now; they tried to take the throne off dad so he killed them. My one remaining older sister is Cleopatra; she’s a stupid whore! Dad’s Will made her queen and I had to marry her and rule jointly with her. Stupid Dad! Just cuz she woz older she thought she cud boss me around. But I showed her! Since last year I’ve been ruling alone! LMAO! I’ll tell you more about that later.
I’ve also got another younger sister called Arsinoe; now that Cleopatra’s gone I’ll probably have to marry her! And there’s our youngest brother (also called Ptolemy!).
Gotta go, now! Pothinus is calling me. He’s the Lord Chamberlian who acts as my regent (Dad’s Will said he had to tell me wot to do until I was old enough). He’s also a eunuch ROLF!
Laters, mortals!
